I'm sure you have heard this expression at least once or twice before.
If you're like most people, then you're likely to understand this common colloquial expression to mean:- do not disrespect or cross the line with your boss, spouse, parents or person/s that are caring/helping/assisting/supporting you.
So you may be wondering by now why am I bringing this up? Good Question!
As I look out into the world I see many things as we all do!
We each have our own unique way of seeing/hearing/feeling/
So as I was saying in my current observation of the world, I see a great many things & one of which is the play out of this expression to not bite the hand that feeds us! What I am particularly interested in writing about for now is how this harmless expression in language can become a harmful expression of behavior in the work place in particular.
Now 2nd scenario: imagine you're the same person in the same situation except this time you never had a talk with your friend and you went and confronted your boss/employer and lets say it didn't go so well. However it wasn't a complete tragedy and the boss gave you a little reminder that your paycheck is in their hands - a perhaps more subtle way of saying "not to bite the hand that feeds you" or in this case the hand that passes over the pay you earned by having a job that entitles you to a paycheck with which you traded time & effort for in order to spend however you see fit.
Now if you're wondering where i am taking this just
hold onto your seat... because gravity won't be able to keep you on it
once your world turns upside down!
Ok that's a little over the top but I know that our minds tend to stray when we read anything longer then a facebook post in our days :P
So what do these two scenarios have in common?
Ok I know I'm leaving this wide open for interpretation here
as there is so much analysis that could be done comparing the two but
I'm sure you're just as eager as me to get straight to the meat and
sweet potatoes of the point I'm attempting to get across here. What the
two scenarios have in common...... they both come down to............. a
fear based approach of living! To stay in a situation, which likely you
would not stay in, other then your belief that it is necessary for your
survival. And by survival I do not mean necessarily for food and
shelter while it does have its part in too, however I also mean for the
survival of your identity and your standard of living in accordance to
your comfort zone tolerance level. Regardless of which scenario plays
out there is an underlying theme here, one of subordination, the
minimization of self in order to adhere to keeping your job to receive
your pay when its due. As another friend of mine often points out to me,
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Suck their $@#! instead!" Now I
know a big assumption here is that you are basically just working for
pay... and well while that may be the case in a lot of jobs, actually
many people may also fear the loss of friends, routine, significance and
the many other things that can go along with having a job.Ok that's a little over the top but I know that our minds tend to stray when we read anything longer then a facebook post in our days :P
So what do these two scenarios have in common?
However this is about the role fear has in causing
us pain through our perception of having to minimize who we are in order
to keep a job be it for a pay check or for the love of it.
I have never in my life heard anyone say I want to have more restrictions in my life and less freedom to express myself as who I am!
However I have heard people say they would like to be more
disciplined, organized and have a clear direction to move in, which to
some may sound like restriction but to those who say this, they see it
as what they consider will give them more of what they want and in my
opinion getting what you want is freedom! The ability to create your
life the way you desire is, in essence, freedom within the limits of
physical manifestation.I have never in my life heard anyone say I want to have more restrictions in my life and less freedom to express myself as who I am!
So how does this all link up?
At the start this post with the expression "Don't bite the hand that feeds you", I stated how this simple expression seems harmless in language yet
can be harmful in behaviour, I would just like to elaborate on this.(This is in my way of thinking) So if language is how we communicate and we communicate using words and words are expressions of meaning and meaning is translated into experience/feelings/emotions. If you agree with this notion you can then understand how a group of words in a particular order/sequence can give a distinct expression and meaning over the individual words themselves. Now lets go a step further and say that language is also a measure/gauge of that expression...we can measure or gauge our experiences by the type of lan-gauge we use. An example of this would be: ok, good, great, awesome, excellent, outstanding! All of these words have a similar meaning but the biggest distinction between each of them is the intensity of the meaning! So now if I have done my job correctly, I wanted this to be demonstrated in each of the examples in the first which I phrased as a friends words of wisdom and from a place of caring. My attempt here was to take the friends indirect way of expressing the meaning of appreciating what you have. My other friend was also expressing this in his own unique way to. The second scenario was that of direct confrontation ending in self minimization to comply with boss/employer to keep your job.
Also I said that both scenarios came down to fear this is
because whether you took the meaning as to appreciate what you have or
minimizing your self to keep your job, both paths would be to change
your thinking in order to keep your job..... now you may think well how
does changing your thinking equate to fear? It doesn't but in this
scenario the change has come as a result of potential loss and not in
the context of gain. Transformation is typically a phenomena that comes about as
a result of adaptation to seek more advantage over disadvantage. So if
the primary motivation of dissatisfaction in work was the pain of not
getting along with your boss, then you can change your thinking about the
situation to adapt within that environment, except is that what you
really want or is it just to make do? Everyday we are met with many
possibilities with which we must make choices about how we intend to
proceed in order to make the best possible future for ourselves. No one
wants to make the wrong choice, but it's always good to know what is
the primary driver behind that choice. Is it fear or excitement? Is it
what you want or what you're willing to make do with? Do you have the
courage to choose what you want based on your excitement about the
possibility of making your dreams come true? Or do you choose to settle
on what's in front of you based on your fear for survival? As always,
the choice is your own, but remember, you and only you is the one who is
making that choice. Everything you are experiencing right now is
entirely based on all the decisions you have made before this moment.
The Question? Will you make your next decision from a place of fear or a
place of courage...
No comments:
Post a Comment