Sensational Living: October 2013

"Whatever you do, don't bite the hand that feeds you!"
I'm sure you have heard this expression at least once or twice before.
If you're like most people, then you're likely to understand this common colloquial expression to mean:- do not disrespect or cross the line with your boss, spouse, parents or person/s that are caring/helping/assisting/supporting you.

So you may be wondering by now why am I bringing this up? Good Question!
As I look out into the world I see many things as we all do!
We each have our own unique way of seeing/hearing/feeling/smelling/touching and tasting the world. This is our unique human experience which is in my opinion is one of our greatest gifts to enjoy our life via our 5 senses and 6 if you are inclined to include that of ESP (extra sensory perception).
So as I was saying in my current observation of the world, I see a great many things & one of which is the play out of this expression to not bite the hand that feeds us! What I am particularly interested in writing about for now is how this harmless expression in language can become a harmful expression of behavior in the work place in particular.

How can it be harmful you may wonder? Well lets look at it from two different points of view. The 1st is in the context of talking with a friend and you're having a discussion about work and your explaining all the pains & woes of the daily grind and lets say your friend is caring enough to hear you out, so they can put an end to your complaining! So you explain to them how your boss is the cause of all the pains at work and you're contemplating telling your boss in a confronting way.... now your friend's alarm bells start to ring and in their semi calm and collected state of mind, slightly more objective to the consequences of your proposed future actions towards your current boss/employer, your friend now cares to remind you that there will be consequences to your actions and based off your intense state in your offloading rant to your dear friend, they interpret it will not turn out so well for you and fear the potentiality that you get yourself fired! So they offer you their words of wisdom and remind you "not to bite the hand that feeds you"! As your friend, this is their way of trying to talk you out of some potentially bad decisions you may make based on the kind of thinking you just shared with them.

Now 2nd scenario: imagine you're the same person in the same situation except this time you never had a talk with your friend and you went and confronted your boss/employer and lets say it didn't go so well. However it wasn't a complete tragedy and the boss gave you a little reminder that your paycheck is in their hands - a perhaps more subtle way of saying "not to bite the hand that feeds you" or in this case the hand that passes over the pay you earned by having a job that entitles you to a paycheck with which you traded time & effort for in order to spend however you see fit.

Now if you're wondering where i am taking this just hold onto your seat... because gravity won't be able to keep you on it once your world turns upside down!
Ok that's a little over the top but I know that our minds tend to stray when we read anything longer then a facebook post in our days :P

So what do these two scenarios have in common?

Ok I know I'm leaving this wide open for interpretation here as there is so much analysis that could be done comparing the two but I'm sure you're just as eager as me to get straight to the meat and sweet potatoes of the point I'm attempting to get across here. What the two scenarios have in common...... they both come down to............. a fear based approach of living! To stay in a situation, which likely you would not stay in, other then your belief that it is necessary for your survival. And by survival I do not mean necessarily for food and shelter while it does have its part in too, however I also mean for the survival of your identity and your standard of living in accordance to your comfort zone tolerance level. Regardless of which scenario plays out there is an underlying theme here, one of subordination, the minimization of self in order to adhere to keeping your job to receive your pay when its due. As another friend of mine often points out to me, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Suck their $@#! instead!" Now I know a big assumption here is that you are basically just working for pay... and well while that may be the case in a lot of jobs, actually many people may also fear the loss of friends, routine, significance and the many other things that can go along with having a job.

However this is about the role fear has in causing us pain through our perception of having to minimize who we are in order to keep a job be it for a pay check or for the love of it.
I have never in my life heard anyone say I want to have more restrictions in my life and less freedom to express myself as who I am!

However I have heard people say they would like to be more disciplined, organized and have a clear direction to move in, which to some may sound like restriction but to those who say this, they see it as what they consider will give them more of what they want and in my opinion getting what you want is freedom! The ability to create your life the way you desire is, in essence, freedom within the limits of physical manifestation.

So how does this all link up?

At the start this post with the expression "Don't bite the hand that feeds you", I stated how this simple expression seems harmless in language yet can be harmful in behaviour, I would just like to elaborate on this.
(This is in my way of thinking) So if language is how we communicate and we communicate using words and words are expressions of meaning and meaning is translated into experience/feelings/emotions. If you agree with this notion you can then understand how a group of words in a particular order/sequence can give a distinct expression and meaning over the individual words themselves. Now lets go a step further and say that language is also a measure/gauge of that expression...we can measure or gauge our experiences by the type of lan-gauge we use. An example of this would be: ok, good, great, awesome, excellent, outstanding! All of these words have a similar meaning but the biggest distinction between each of them is the intensity of the meaning! So now if I have done my job correctly, I wanted this to be demonstrated in each of the examples in the first which I phrased as a friends words of wisdom and from a place of caring. My attempt here was to take the friends indirect way of expressing the meaning of appreciating what you have. My other friend was also expressing this in his own unique way to. The second scenario was that of direct confrontation ending in self minimization to comply with boss/employer to keep your job.

Also I said that both scenarios came down to fear this is because whether you took the meaning as to appreciate what you have or minimizing your self to keep your job, both paths would be to change your thinking in order to keep your job..... now you may think well how does changing your thinking equate to fear? It doesn't but in this scenario the change has come as a result of potential loss and not in the context of gain. Transformation is typically a phenomena that comes about as a result of adaptation to seek more advantage over disadvantage. So if the primary motivation of dissatisfaction in work was the pain of not getting along with your boss, then you can change your thinking about the situation to adapt within that environment, except is that what you really want or is it just to make do? Everyday we are met with many possibilities with which we must make choices about how we intend to proceed in order to make the best possible future for ourselves. No one wants to make the wrong choice, but it's always good to know what is the primary driver behind that choice. Is it fear or excitement? Is it what you want or what you're willing to make do with? Do you have the courage to choose what you want based on your excitement about the possibility of making your dreams come true? Or do you choose to settle on what's in front of you based on your fear for survival? As always, the choice is your own, but remember, you and only you is the one who is making that choice. Everything you are experiencing right now is entirely based on all the decisions you have made before this moment. The Question? Will you make your next decision from a place of fear or a place of courage...

Music has always been a big part of me. Without it, life would be so tasteless (for me anyway), like a fish out of water, like darkness without stars, like KFC without the 11 secret herbs and spices, like monkey without bananas :P I'm sure you can come up with better comparison but anywayyys, not to get carried away too much, i'm gonna share with you one of my top favorite non-lyrical songs (at the moment).
You might wonder why non-lyrical? Well, simply because there is no lyrics and no lyrics basically means you can make up your own. And i think that is the beauty of it: being able to open up your imagination and creativity according to the feelings attached to every note, every chord in every moment
Even if you have never been interested in this type of music, just at least give it a try! You might find something about it that you never discovered before. I think life is all about experiences and the more you go deeper into the journey of exploring new things about yourself, about others and everything around you, the richer your life will become :)